What kind of parent am I?
“Do I expect my child to blindly obey and follow me?”
“Am I constantly giving in to every demand to keep him/her happy?”
“Does my child understand and realize the consequences of positive and negative behavior?”
It’s extremely essential for parents to cultivate a process of constantly assessing their parenting skills. It’s an interesting process where parents compare and contrast their child’s behavior and development with their own behavior and development as parents whose goal is to make the best of their child’s learning and growing years.
Here’s a short list of questions parents should be frequently asking themselves to assess what kind of parents they are and want to be in order to strengthen their relationship with their children.
Physical Development of your Child
Are you helping your child to work/do his/her activities like eating, dressing, cleaning, take care of his/her belongings etc. independently without your interference?
(Being independent does not mean the child has to do the job in your absence. Your presence, assistance and participation doesn’t mean that the child is completely dependent on you)
Do you involve your child in different household chores/activities like setting up the table, sorting vegetables, folding clothes, filling up water-bottles etc.?
Do you give verbal instructions to your child or show your child how an activity is done?
Are you creating opportunities for your child to perform challenging activities like carrying large objects, climbing a tree or even taking a long walks?
Intellectual Development of your Child
Do you encourage your child to ask questions, learn concepts, make observations and arrive at conclusions?
Are you helping him/her to discover something, make choices and express ideas?
Do you help your child recall past incidents and play interesting memory games?
Language and Vocabulary Development of your Child
How do you speak in front of your child? Do you use proper grammar and pronunciation or do you speak baby language?
Do you speak a language in its pure form or do you combine other languages with it?
Do you help your child to enrich his vocabulary in his/her mother tongue and English?
How often do you read to/with your child?
Do you involve your child in activities such as writing letters to relatives, making “things to do” lists etc?
Are you constantly fretting and anxious about when your child will start reading and writing? Are you patient enough to allow the child to naturally explode into reading and writing in his/her own?
Development of Social and Behavioral Skills of your Child
Do you encourage your child to speak to members of your family, friends, neighbors and helpers?
How polite are you with your child? Do you use words and phrases like please, sorry, thank you, may I etc?
When your child is talking to you, do you pay attention and have eye-contact with him/her?
How do you direct/instruct your child? Do you speak softly and speak in a negative or positive manner?
Emotional Development of your Child
How patient are you?
a) get irritated easily and everyday
b) get irritated most of the time
c) get irritated sometimes
d) never get irritated
How do you react when your child behaves inappropriately?
Do you react by
a) physically hurting
b) scolding or shouting
c) punishing
d) firmly telling the child what should be done and explaining what and why it should not be done
How often do you scold your child? What for?
How often do you compare your child with other children?
How do you appreciate your child’s work? Do you praise the child or give your positive comments on the child’s work and give suggestions on how and where to improve?
Do you allow your child to express his/her emotions?
Do you take care to see that you don’t tease or give negative comments in his/her work or appearance?
Excerpts from Take Montessori Home, published by The Indian Montessori Centre